why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
