At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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