So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
