I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
