everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
