and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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