I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
