If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude. I can hear the air.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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