Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
