There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Holy sore nipples Batman
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
