There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
