Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Randomize
