Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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