I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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