we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
