She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
