It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
