are you so shy because you have an std?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
