it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
