I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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