You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
