So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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