I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
