I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
