I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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