okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
