i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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