i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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