is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
