He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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