the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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