I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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