P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize