do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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