One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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