youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
