i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
