Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
