I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
