Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize