he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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