your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
