I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
