a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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