How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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