apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
