cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
