Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
