the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
There's even glitter on my cock...
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