whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What a dumb baby whore.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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