plz talk dirty to me
time to smoke my breakfast
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
