we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
