She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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