It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
