I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
