Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize