My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
