Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
