It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
