Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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