I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
