Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
