How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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