She's JV to your varsity
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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