connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
